Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Who is He Supposed to Be?

Written By: Bethany Ellis

            As girls we have all envisioned that day when we will wear the white dress. Some of us over-think it and have planned the whole event. Others want someone else to pick the napkins; they only care about the dress and the groom…which brings us to the groom. Dress aside, that day is about joining your life and committing to another person. Is he a blurry guy in a tux? What is he like? Other than the fact that you love him, what else do you know about him?
            I ask these questions because if you don’t have any answers to them, how will you know whom to date? Obviously I can’t cover it all, and some things vary from woman to woman. However, I can give the issue a good start by looking at four things that are a MUST, for all of us.
            The first thing you need is a partner you can trust. Trust is earned. You want to find someone who keeps their promises and does what they say they will do. Now, don’t knit pick. This is not put the seat down stuff. But if lack of follow-through is consistent or if it erodes your trust, it may be time to move on. You need to be able to count on and believe the best about your partner.
            Next, find someone you can laugh with. Life can be hard and having someone who brings you joy is crucial.  Going through the world with a heavy heart saps your energy. The two of you should lighten each other’s load. If together you naturally see the humor and upside in situations, you will weather them more successfully!
            You are going to want someone who values your gifts and talents…and has taken the time to know what they are! As a couple, you should be proud and excited as you learn the capabilities of the other. You should love to watch your partner do something they do well. You both should be able and willing to affirm and compliment the other’s abilities on a daily basis.
            Lastly, does he listen to you even when it’s not pleasant? We all know we want someone who cares about our life and values the ideas that come out of our mouth. But beyond that, does he let you express yourself when you have a disagreement? He should really hear you, process your viewpoint and express his feelings on the subject. You need a spouse who is able to validate your opinion by listening even when he disagrees.
            Like I said before, this is not a complete list. It is a place to start. After you run through this list of questions, ask some of your own. Create a list of your desires and traits that you would want the man in that tux possess. It will help you in the selection process and keep you from spending your time and emotions on the wrong person.

**Assumptions: more pointed toward “him”
**“Loving Eyes can never see”

- Bethany Ellis, Creme de le Chic Events


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